Nicole Grays Owens may not be a cast member of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” but she certainly qualifies as one. After a 25-year stint in corporate America working with such media giants as CNN and Paramount Pictures, it was a natural transition for Nicole to become a host her own podcasts, “Catch the Convo” and “Pillow Talk: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey.” The charismatic and sexy California transplant is a fixture on the Atlanta scene and is frequently described as stylish, unapologetically transparent and most importantly DOPE.
One of her proudest accomplishments was building BISON, a multi-million dollar Payroll and Staffing company with then-husband Wesley Owens. Currently perusing her passions on a full-time basis, Nicole is a celebrity wardrobe stylist and aspiring novelist. When she’s not working, Nicole enjoys down time with her 3 incredible step children, or sitting poolside sipping champagne and puffing on a hookah while contemplating her next move.
Women Fitness joins Nicole in an interesting chat over what inspires her to live the life that she lives. Catch up with her below.
Namita Nayyar:
You started off with a 25-year stint in corporate America working with such media giants as CNN, Turner Broadcasting, Fox Sports and Paramount Pictures, before moving on in 2016 to pursue your personal passions on a full-time basis. Introduce us to a day in your spectacular life.
Nicole Grays:
Spectacular? Wow! I guess from the outside looking in, some would think my day-to-day is pretty terrific. In actuality it’s just me working on myself and building my brand (Niko Grey). Seven days a week I roll out of bed with the intention of conquering personal goals and overcoming hurdles. Writing (there is a fictional novel in the works, a treatment for a reality tv show, and a drama that could be a weekly series), collaborating with my designer, Faith DeFaria, on my clothing line (dopesince1969), thinking up creative ways to inspire my growing Social Media following via my live podcasts, and healing – both mentally and physically from the obstacles and losses I’ve had to overcome in 2016. I’m getting stronger every day. Sprinkled in between that organized chaos, I’m sometimes sitting in a chair with a make-up artist getting glamorous because it’s a day of filming for one of the reality-TV shows I’ve been cast for, that are currently in production here in Atlanta. Sleep, yeah, there’s not a lot of that.
Namita Nayyar:
You are best known for your dramatic weight loss endeavor wherein you lost 150 pounds and transformed not only your physical health, but your entire emotional outlook on life, aptly referred to as “The Rebirth.” Walk us through your incredible weight loss journey.
Nicole Grays:
Buckle up. It’s quite a ride!
I wasn’t always overweight, but but once the pounds started hanging around permanently in my early 20s, depression set in and I was no longer that upbeat, carefree California girl. Quickly got sucked into a downward spiral. Family and friends alike noticed me becoming less social, more of a recluse. I was feeling embarrassed by my weight gain, unable to find clothes that would fit, not wanting to travel – those tiny airplane seats are no joke and no one wants to sit next to the fat person. I was out of control. My body was like a runaway train. I basically hid out at home. Alone. Those feelings led to me becoming an ’emotional eater’ and it just kept getting worse, until I reached a little over 300 pounds.
You name the weight-loss method, I gave it a go. Lost a few, but couldn’t keep it off, so I felt like a failure…repeatedly. I tried everything, but nothing worked.
It wasn’t until I moved to Atlanta that I decided it was time to take back control over my mind and body, no matter the cost. Living like this wasn’t living, it was merely existing.
What led to the answer for my obesity was a co-worker who quietly took a leave of absence and when she returned her weight loss was immediately noticeable. She glowed and looked radiant. And I wanted that too! After watching her journey and transformation over a period of a year, I worked up the nerve to ask her how she’d done it. She confessed she’d had gastric bypass surgery. I took her to lunch to pick her brain about the process and the procedure. She gave me the name of her surgeon I decided to take the leap!
Although I qualified for the surgery due to my ailments (chest pain, difficulty breathing,crazy cholesterol levels, at risk for diabetes and a high BMI) I almost got rejected by my insurance carrier because over the years of exams, annual check ups and the like, I staunchly refused to let nurses weigh me, so my weight had not been documented in my medical files. I had to write a detailed letter to my insurance carrier explaining my attempts to lose weight on my own from the age of 20 something to 39. And with that, I was cleared.
I underwent gastric bypass surgery, but not before a psych eval, classes with a dietician and therapy that prepared me for what my life would be like after the surgery. For me, the ‘after’ was a breeze. And no, I’m not trying to make it sound pretty. I’d literally gotten to the point where I’d rather be dead than to continue living life as a fat girl. This was the right solution for me and I was excited about it!
After surgery, the weight began to fall off immediately. Of course it stalled at times, but after hitting plateaus it would kick in again and more pounds would fall away. When I went in for surgery they weighed me. I refused to look at the scale, but was told a number slightly above 300, and by the time I reached my 40th birthday in August of 2009, I’d met my goal. I weighed 170 pounds and was a perfect size 10. All my friends and family were proud and shocked. Since I didn’t tell anyone I was having the surgery and I now lived in Atlanta, my return home to Los Angeles was a huge surprise. My mother, who was always a size 6 or 8 kept, having me undress and try on different pieces in her wardrobe. She just couldn’t believe it. Everyone was in awe.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t state Gastric Bypass surgery is a “tool,” not magic. There are a lot of adjustments. Mostly mentally. You can’t consume the amount of food you used to. In fact, kid-sized portions were sometimes too much, but this came after a year of only being able to eat food one ounce at a time, and almost hourly to keep up my energy. I lived off seasonal fruit and grilled chicken and nothing else for the first year. Sometimes I’d have oatmeal, periodically one single bite of pizza (my favorite), but not much else. As an avid crunchy snacker, I was always terrified that a potato chip would somehow damage my new pouch, so I’d bite it to hear the crunch then let the rest dissolve on my tongue for flavor. Sounds gross, but true. Although the stomach I was born with is still inside my body, my surgeon created a new one which is referred to as a “pouch.” It’s also up higher than where a regular stomach would be, so not only do you not have room for much food, you also feel full more quicker because it’s up higher. When you’re full, you’re full. Taking that extra bite is never a good idea. It can leave you feeling horribly nauseated, make your heart beat rapidly, it’s sometimes difficult to breathe. You might even begin to perspire and the only thing you can do is wait for that moment to pass. Here it is 8 years later and I still order from the menu like the ‘fat girl.’ Everyone laughs because they know now my eyes are bigger than my stomach, literally; but mentally I still can’t help myself, so I taste everything and then I’m satisfied.
GPS has other serious downsides as well. Digested food, fat, vitamins and nutrients your body needs bypass the small intestine and go directly to the large intestine, which is for waste. So after GPS, your body absorbs everything differently, including medicine and vitamin supplements, which I take twice daily to compensate for what I’m not absorbing naturally. This process varies from person to person. My biggest letdown is that dairy is out for me. I’ve not enjoyed a bowl of cereal or a stop of mint chip ice cream since 2008, but I’d say it’s still worth it. Given the choice again, I’d choose GPS at the drop of a hat.
That part was a doozie, right? Well, I’m not done yet. I stayed at a size 10 until 2012, then slowly the pounds started creeping back up, a little over thirty to be exact. Remember GPS is a tool, it’s not magic. Eventually I got to the point where my pouch could hold almost a cup of food in one sitting, because over time, just like my stomach stretched, so did my pouch. If you’re not careful and I wasn’t, that’s what happens and so manyGPS patients gain their weight back and I too was on that road. Slowly soda and junk food started to sneak it’s way back into my mouth and landed on my stomach, thighs and buttocks. Even my face got fuller. My 10’s became 12’s, my 12’s became 14’s and I just skipped 16’s altogether and landed smack in an 18. When the scale read 208 pounds I lost my mind! Swimming daily, doing lapser an hour or more became my routine, I joined a nearby gym for early morning cardio and went back to eating healthier. The pounds started coming off slowly, but this was the first time since my GPS that I’d done any physical activity to get the weight off. It was hard making my way back to my 10’s and it took me two years to get there in 2014.
By the summer of 2015 I started losing weight due to stress and by April of 2016 I was a size 4, weighing in at 135 pounds. I didn’t look healthy, I didn’t feel healthy and I looked older than my 46 years of age. There was a tremendous upside to this unexpected loss. I was finally ready mentally and financially to have a complete ‘Mommy Makeover’, without the being a mommy part. After consulting with plastic surgeons I opted for 3 phases of surgery and 14 procedures at the skilled hands of Dr. William Hedden and Dr. Christopher Schaffer at Hedden Plastic Surgery and Spa at Greystone, in Birmingham, AL.
Phase 1 took place in April 2016: I had brachioplasty (arm lift), breast lift, breast implants, blepharoplasty (under eye bags removed) and a tummy tuck, wherein Dr. Hedden created an entirely new belly button, after removing so much excess skin. Phase 2 was in July 2016: I had an upper body lift, brazillian butt lift and fat transfer to my buttocks, but there wasn’t much to transfer, so I knew I’d have to do it again in the last stage. Phase 3 was in October 2016: The last hurdle. Inner and Outer thigh lift with fat transfer to buttocks and labiaplasty (there’s a funny story in there as to why that was even necessary, but I’ll keep that inside joke between my surgeon and I. Throughout each phase I added Botox to my forehead, in-between my brows, at my crows feet and filler around the laugh lines at my mouth. Which I will continue to do I love Botox.
Whew! I’m exhausted just recalling all of this. After months of recuperating from the surgeries I’m actually excited about my next steps. Yoga and working out with my personal trainer, Karlene Claimon. Never in my 47 years have I had a craving for cardio, building muscle and total flexibility. Since there won’t be anymore cutting on this bod I’ve gotta keep it in tip top condition.
Full interview is continued on next page
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All Written Content Copyright © 2019 Women Fitness
Namita Nayyar:
What exercises comprise your fitness regime or workout routine?
Nicole Grays:
As I mentioned earlier, swimming is a favorite fitness routine for me. I’ve been known to hit a treadmill every now and again, but nothing will compare to what awaits me come January 2017. My personal trainer, Karlene, has placed 1st several times, in professional body building and bikini body competitions. I look forward to the day I can do pull ups, push ups and flip those huge tires back and forth with her. With having had so many major surgeries this year, I’ve not been physically able or allowed to do anything strenuous, but I’m in the home stretch now, so look out! Here I come.
Namita Nayyar:
Do you take some special diet or have a strict menu that you follow to remain healthy and physically fit?
Nicole Grays:
Admittedly, pizza is still my favorite food and I have a slice at least once a week. When it comes to things like rich desserts or red meat, I don’t deny myself anything. It’s all about moderation, portion control. Since diets never worked long-term for me in the past, it’s a word that I rarely use. Healthy eating – now that I can get into. If it’s green, I’ll eat it. Grilled asparagus tips are like french fries to me. French-cut string beans, heavenly. Kale is cool. Protein comes from poultry and fish, red meat is seldom on the menu, and the only pork I consume is pepperoni on my pizza, otherwise I cook with turkey. Turkey tacos, spaghetti, burgers, chili…you name it, I can make it with turkey. Robust olive oil is another fave. I use it on almost everything.
Bread is a weakness, as is chocolate, but that’s where portion and moderation come in. I can have whatever I like, just so long as I don’t overindulge. Tea over coffee is my preference. I get in as much water daily as I can. Believe it or not, water is hard on the stomach. There are minerals in it that, after having GPS, make it more difficult to consume. Lemonade and sweet tea (I do reside in the south y’all) are my go-to beverages. As for alcoholic beverages, well, I’m kind of a buzz kill there. I can hold the same glass of Moscato for an entire evening of socializing with friends or over a dinner date and never come close to finishing. I’m pretty much a cheap date (laughing). When everyone else is tipsy, I just giggle and play along for the fun of it. I’m incapable of getting drunk. Bummer.
Namita Nayyar:
You have glowing skin and gorgeous hair. Share with us your haircare and skincare routine.
Nicole Grays:
Thank you! (I’m blushing and smiling) Although I’ve tried many expensive and exclusive creams, cleansers and scrubs, my all-time go-to is still hot water and baby oil on a fresh washcloth everyday to remove all make-up. Then Noxema to cleanse and refresh my skin. And Oil of Olay to moisturize. In fact, Olay has several “systems” on the market now and I currently have on hand the Regenerist line of products. When all else fails, I use good old fashioned Johnson&Johnson Baby Lotion to moisturize my face and vaseline on my lips. Simple. Effective. Works like a charm. My genes might play a small part in it too.
My hair is a different story. Let’s just say I’ve mastered my flaws. With the stress I experienced earlier this year, my entire hairline fell out from the follicle at both temples and the loss went back about 2 inches. Talk about a challenge. If if wasn’t for a side-part and enough wavy hair to swoop into the direction I needed it go, I would never have left the house. It took 6 months for it to return. I use Mane and Tail Shampoo and Conditioner daily. While still wet I apply a generous amount of KeraCare Foam Wrap-Set Lotion to style and Kinky-Curly Curling Custard to whip and hold these strands into shape and it leaves it touchable and shiny. My hair is is also prematurely white, not gray, not silver…white. So every 10-14 days I use Bigen 88 to color it. I’ll stop dying it when I turn 50 and not a day before.
Namita Nayyar:
You are currently working on two reality TV shows “Single, Married, Divorced,” and “The Chance.” Would you like to share with us your experience on the shows so far?
Nicole Grays:
Geez (grits teeth). It’s either everything I expected from reality TV or nothing like I expected. But I signed up for it and I’m going along for the ride. Certainly appreciative for both opportunities. I’m learning a lot, but it can get rough on set and emotionally draining. I’ve been put in situations where I’ve been directed to play a certain role without the other cast members being aware and I’ve been verbally attacked, insulted and humiliated because of it. My skin is thick, so I can take it, but those unexpected gut-punches pack a wallop. Then there are the real bonds that are formed. Genuine friendships that I didn’t expect, but still I remain a tad guarded. This is reality TV after all. I can get set up at the drop of a hat. I’m having a good time though. I’d love to have a show that I’ve created get picked up and stay behind the camera. It’s safer there.
Namita Nayyar:
You are also the host of two thought-provoking podcasts, “Catch the Convo” and “PILLOW TALK: Live in the Living Room with Niko Grey. Introduce us to both of these podcasts.
Nicole Grays:
Gladly. Catch the Convo is actually the love child of Pillow Talk: Live in the Living Room. Pillow Talk started as a fluke. After attending an event with a male model friend, Christian Ellis, we were talking in my living room into the wee hours and I decided to podcast it live. He was so comfortable talking to me that everything just flowed and we got such a positive response, a weekly live podcast was born, Saturdays at midnight ET. No subject is off limits, guests (singers, comedians, radio DJ’s, etc. are put in the proverbial hot seat and I ask all the questions I want. Every podcast isn’t necessarily about sex per se, but my content is not for teenie boppers; it’s grown folks conversation. In the spirit of keeping the conversations rolling and allowing me to podcast live from wherever I am, I changed the name to Catch the Convo and the format changed.
Most times it’s just me and the CTC viewers and other times there is a guest and you get a peek into our conversation. It’s interactive and there is a call in number for those bold enough to announce themselves and pose their question live during the podcast. It’s fun, but I’d really enjoy a more formal format and my own late night show on a network. My followers are an awesome bunch. I can do no wrong in their eyes and they’re so supportive and loyal. You can put me up against anyone in the industry and they continue to chose me. You can’t pay for that kind of love and support. They say I inspire them, I say it’s the other way around.
Namita Nayyar:
You are a celebrity wardrobe stylist/image consultant, writer, clothing designer, host, media correspondent and Reality TV personality. How do you manage such a fantastic multi-dimensional lifestyle?
Nicole Grays:
Creative scheduling and little sleep. I bet you didn’t think I could answer in one sentence. All jokes aside my time is my own so I schedule accordingly. As a stylist, I chose my clients. If it feels like work I won’t take that individual. You’re paying me for my expertise, so you have to trust me, if you want to call the shots then you don’t need me. Working with Faith is easy she speaks Nicole and gets my ideas and concepts so I don’t have to explain myself much and she loves what she does so that’s a great relationship. Although there are 2 reality shows I provide both Executive Producers with my schedule and whoever books a film crew first, that’s the show I work on, then it’s usually time to jump to the other side. The concepts are completely different, as are my cast mates, so switching gears is easy. Writing is the hardest thing for me to do. Either I feel creative or I don’t but when it hits I will write on anything or call myself and leave a long voicemail about a topic, character name, situation or concept then write about it when I have the time, but there’s nothing like feeling a certain emotion and writing about it right then and there.
Some moments can be recaptured at any time on paper, but not the emotion…that’s what you want to grab onto while it’s happening. That’s when you pour your guts out, let your tears drop onto the page, tell the absolute truth about the matter, scribble your rage, exhale your essence, recall that dream and make it real…it’s like painting with words. Beautiful. Raw. If it were food you could taste it. I’ve not dropped a ball yet, but I’m fortunate to have time on my side. I have the same 24 hours in my day as Beyonce. What I do with them is completely up to me. How dope is that?
Namita Nayyar:
Tell us your Top 5 Fashion Must-haves for Celebrities in 2017. Only 5?
Nicole Grays:
Okay I’ll try.
- An oversized, go to handbag. Louis Vuitton or Hermes are my faves for functionality. It can hold your devices, a fresh shirt or undies, a good book, notepad, a pair of flat, bottle of water, passport incase you have to flee the country or get swept up by a billionaire and he wants to take you abroad. You never know. Trust me, that oversized bag is a lifesaver.
- A brightly colored, 3/4 length, medium weight, belted coat that can transition from daytime at the office, work on the run or hang during a night of fun with friends (fur accents optional).
- A nude patent leather 5 to 6 inch stiletto – designer of your choice, goes with everything and makes your calves look great and your butt sit up high. who doesn’t want a better derrière.
- The perfect pair of jeans will take you anywhere. Travel, lunch, business meetings, dates, shopping – in today’s society they are acceptable everywhere, even church…a definite must.
- I don’t care what anyone says, fragrance is as much a part of fashion as a watch, so a signature fragrance is on my list for sure, the right scent gets you noticed, lifts your spirits and is sexy.
I’m sorry, I can’t do it in 5. I need 2 bonuses. Can’t have my people out there looking half baked.
A neutral lip gloss is mandatory – I sleep in my lip gloss and I’m never without it. Never!
The perfect pair of shades. Celebs sometimes have those crazy late nights and shades cover half your face until you can get yourself together, these with the lipgloss will get you where you need to go looking completely pulled together for the time being.
Namita Nayyar:
One of your proudest accomplishments were building from the ground up BISON, a multimillion dollar payroll and staffing company with your then-husband Wesley Owens. Share with us your Top 5 Tips to make a business successful.
Nicole Grays:
- People like to work with people they know and people they like, but even if they’re qualified for the job, don’t hire friends. It can get hairy if you have to remind staff that your signature is on the bottom of their paycheck. Some people can differentiate between the personal relationship and the professional one, but if they can’t it’s easier to just steer clear of that pitfall from the jump.
- Never say “I’m sorry” to a client when you screw up. Instead admit to the mistake before they catch it. Correct it, compensate them in some way for their inconvenience and never make THAT mistake again.
- Be proactive instead of reactive. This line of thinking is applicable in too many instances to list.
- Lead by example. Your staff works off your energy, your vibe, your confidence. They are going to follow your lead, so be mindful that everyone is watching. Especially when you’re just getting started.
- Make every staff member responsible for closing the loop on all tasks/assignments. In this business the left hand needs to know what the right hand it doing. Ask questions if necessary, but close that loop. Don’t make assumptions that someone else is finishing a task, it only take a quick second to circle back with your associate(s) to make sure all “i’s” are dotted and all “t’s” are crossed.
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All Written Content Copyright © 2019 Women Fitness